Publications

Introduction

Fear, stress, anxiety, helplessness; hopelessness, avoidance. Usually we are bound to master them because of the impact they create on our experiences, thoughts, beliefs. It is too painful to learn them and we naturally strive to minimise exposure to preserve the remaining peaceful part of life. Mental torment, mental fatigue, gradually take grip on our daily routine.

However, avoidance comes with its costs, often leading to increased complexity rather than resolving issues. This isn't just due to its ineffectiveness as a coping strategy, but also because we tend to rely on avoidance excessively. This leaves us with less choice but to explore alternative coping mechanisms and to redirect our focus towards mastering the impact of painful emotions. Achieving this requires gaining mental “armour” and a willingness to experience discomfort to glean insights from adverse states, emotions, and feelings. To develop the “armour” involves acquiring emotional intelligence, developing mental resilience, fostering a specific mindset, embracing more adaptive critical thinking, and more.

In my experience, relying excessively on avoidance as a coping strategy backed me into a corner. Consequently, I had to shift my approach from avoidance to direct engagement. This shift provided me with an opportunity to gain insights from the realms of fear, stress, anxiety, helplessness, and hopelessness—insights I am willing to share if it aids you in reclaiming your life from the misery that has cornered you."

Before You Begin

Before you start, there are certain considerations to keep in mind.

Approaching this journey with an adversarial mindset towards these emotions may lead to setbacks. This series aims to provide insights on preparing your mindset, thoughts, actions, behaviors, and beliefs to navigate the unavoidable challenges of human experience.

Adopting good practices is not enough. It requires deep understanding and personalization. Developing these skills implies an ongoing process of refinement based on individual needs and experiences. Simply knowing something is beneficial doesn’t guarantee effective use or personal improvement.

If your goal is to build resilience solely to suppress challenging emotions, you might inadvertently set a trap for yourself. Direct engagement with difficulties is not just about cultivating strength but about addressing and integrating the aspects you tend to avoid, as these are often the sources of your suffering.

Direct engagement carries a higher probability of falling back into destructive coping strategies like alcohol abuse, drug abuse, overeating, and others. Increased mental pressure from voluntarily engaging with avoided issues can lead to these behaviors.

Destructive coping strategies can shift as you attempt to let go of them. Engaging directly may intensify latent mental disorders or revert to them to some extent, and trigger maladaptive coping mechanisms and behavioral patterns.

The practices I will share, if misused, could lead to emotional detachment and health issues, especially chronic conditions. This approach requires self-discipline, resilience, self-openness, responsibility for actions, and high moral standards. Only you will know if you are pretending.

Block One

Fostering a specific set of beneficial personal qualities

Block Two

Acquiring tools

Emotion journaling
- Writing;
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) development
- Core affect,
- Labelling
- Cognitive defusion
- Separate behaviour from identity
- Thought > emotion > feeling > behaviour
Self-reflection
Self-monitoring (mindfulness)
Exposure: Practising voluntary controlled adversity
Practising acceptance

Block Three

Developing a mindset and altering perception